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My goal wasnt especially to do sketches......but, somehow or other, this is where Id end up.This is a story about a teenage kid who knows what he wants. He knows that he doesnt want to work in a textile office. He wants to do something with pictures, maybe. Maybe he wants to sit on a bench and draw the animals in the zoo. If he has a day off he might like to do that. If his boss says chaperon my wayward daughter so she doesnt get into trouble. If he loses his job because she ran off on her husband with her boyfriend then hell fall into a job as an assistant to a manga artist. Jiro Taniguichi made an autobiographical manga about his own uprising in 1960s Tokyo. I guess thats what he wanted to do and, yeah, thats what this is.But the background surrounding Hamaguchi is more vivid than the blah blah blah of the speech boxes. I wanted to ignore the speech boxes. The events leading up to Hamaguchi finally realizing that he wanted to write a manga after all werent that interesting. Less interesting was how IMPORTANT it was for him to write. The good stuff happened to everyone else. He didnt notice them but I did. I dont know about Jiro Taniguchi. It is in his pictures so he must have had some inkling. Maybe he felt the pulling outside of his peripheral vision. Maybe his hands were speaking what his mouth was blind to.A polar bear snarls in his cage as the kid absently holds his drawing pad. By the way, I had wanted to read this because I hoped it would be as good as my own zoo in winter (a different Tanijuchi has sat on my goodreads to-read list for years. I will never be able to afford it. They want all of my appendages for it. Why not read something and see if it is worth the cost of even a finger). In November of 2011 I visited the Berlin zoo. The reindeer were my favorite (and the Swedish cows, and some kind of an otherworldly pig whom I felt a connection with). There was something haunting, or something magical and hauntingly magical about the animals living in the grim forest. Prisoners still eating, maybe they didnt care. I was frozen to my toes. Ive never been that cold before or since. An old lady chatted to me about the reindeer and I didnt understand a word she said. I wonder if the reindeer were happier living in the zoo than they would be as a Sami meal. The kid doesnt seem to think about how the animals feel. I know he doesnt. When he finally writes his super important manga he includes the animals at the suggestion of a girl he has just met (he knows her further because it is suggested to him he visit her in the hospital. Decisions just arent this kids makeup). She has ideas about a girl a boy could save, and the animals. It is sweet how happy she looks, her belief in this story someone else could write. Why doesnt she write herself... He doesnt save the animals! They go on living, in the zoo, if they go on living at all. He never says. But in the pictures....In the sweat and unsaid frame by frame his coworkers toil at the deadlines for a richer than their wildest dreams (at least enough to buy local brew and manga) manga-ka. Kondo seldom appears. His assistants, though. When one of them has written something the kid is envious that he hasnt been writing anything himself. Today doesnt belong to yesterday when someone else wasnt doing what he isnt. What I saw was his drunken eyes as the budding writer swears he will not be a washed up assistant for his entire career. The senior assistant is sitting at the same table and I dont know if he wanted to kill him or himself. The blooming artist wont be published after all, maybe doomed as an assistant for his entire career. I also noticed that it is commented a lot that his work bears a resemblance to Kondos. Of course it did. They did all of the work! It probably wasnt unintentional this depiction of the bitter slide after the big break of getting a toe in the door slam of manga. Youre only as good as your next. It just felt oddly as if it were happening out of Hamaguchi. His black cloud changes from silver to rainbows to black and it could rain or shine for everyone else, depending on who is waking up. He had a brother. A big brother type with big shoulders and big everything. He gets up from the table to go handle it when a girl Hamaguchi knows has been giving a tough time by some creeps at the bar where she works. He watches out for mom and his brother. He had given up artist dreams to take care of everyone else. Hamaguchi never even knew. I liked his pictures. He wears plain white shirts and a face to take for granted. So that chick he is set up with. The girl who is broken more every time you see her. No one ever touches her and she breaks. Her heart probably fainted at the unhelped thought no one ever would. I wish someone would have shaken Hamaguchi when he whines that the letter she writes about his manga getting published wasnt enough. Shes dying, you asshole! Im not sure if shes really dying. More like a crumpled pile of clothes without the body still in it. Shell probably get moved to another specialist hospital for more tests and you cant do anything. I wish he had thought about her feelings more than how proud he was of himself, or rather wanted to be more proud but she had to tell him he was. Her worth as a person should have been more than giving him the idea that maybe he should write manga (and coughs the idea for the story as well). What a tool, really. I dont know if Taniguchi is off the hook because of the pictures knowing them anyway. It is never said what happens to anyone else. He wishes he could save her like in the manga. But what about everyone else? The only person he meets anything is ever said about is the first girl who inadvertently pushes him out of textiles. Shes holding down a job because her boyfriend cant get work. I wonder if he takes care of their baby or if she does all of that too. She says shes happy. It doesnt feel like Hamaguchi asked. But did we only meet her again so she could give him the idea to go visit his sorta dying sorta girlfriend in the hospital? It was a funny way of showing a guy who doesnt know anything. The pictures were in the spite of him, the I dont know what I want and this is what is real, and the text bubbles were like him getting shoved into doing anything, I guess, and making unreal by being a stupid human.

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